Red n Black...

Love Me,Don't Hate me

2006-08-12T21:19:00.000+08:00

My name is Farz Seah....

Love me, Don't hate me

2006-03-23T00:52:00.000+08:00

Hehe... I went to visit my cousin at the detention barrack just now. I am so glad I did. I miss him too much. My singing partner. When I got in to the visiting room, I could feel the tears at the corner of my eyes. I told myself there is no need for tears. He is fine. You should be happy to see him not make him feel so pathetic with your cries. But no... As soon as I saw him enter the door from the other side, I straight away left my seat and dashed infront and sat on the single stool, leaving my auntie and uncle(his parents) behind. There goes the self comfort. No point. The tears started to stream like crazy as soon as he said "Hey Ana! How are you?" Oh damn. I couldnt talk for a few minutes. I had to talk with using hand signals due to the tears. We could see each other but still have to communicate through the damn phone. "Ana why are you crying. Don't cry. Everything is fine." I love this man infront of me. He has been missing for years. He is one of the supportive and understanding cousin I have. Just the look of him send the tears streaming. I can't help myself. I really miss him alot. We talked alot. He even ask me about the happening clubs here. Haha. He looked so happy when we talk. Alhamdulillah, its not like prison. The welfare is great there. 4 more months and you are free. I pray that you lead a new and clean life then.
I had a damn great quarrel! It hurts but it feels good. No more old, quiet, take in all crap, patient Farah. I really have to start standing up for my rights. Which I always do now. Good for me. I don't care anymore. Whatever happens happens. I have nothing to loose. I have my family.
Work has been the same. Tired but fun. I am prettty scared with the way I think now. I think too maturely for my age. It scares me. I am only 20. But it definitely helps in a way. Haha... Gonna sleep now. Working .... Haiya. Alright... ~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2006-01-28T18:36:00.000+08:00

I am back! Yes!!! I am back. 4 damn free days! Woohoo!! At last.
Ok so, life has been terribly busy. I was promoted. Its shocking but im glad they gave me the chance. Actually, I am a little scared. I think I am too much into my work that it scares me. Even during my off days I will always get scared wondering about my work, hoping and praying that everything is alright. Shity feeling. But work is great. Always feel at peace.
Another part of me is something which I am not able to tell or write down. I know I did alot of bad things to alot of people. But I really don't know what to do. How to do what? And what to now? It is too messy already. Nothing can be done. I think. But this is my life. I have done the wrong that will never go away. The only thing to do is move on with the damn wrong and change my damn self. Well... Enough said. I apologize to those that I have hurt.
I was thinking of taking bike license but my parents objected like crazy. They even told me to leave the house if i really am going to take bike license. Its that bad. Hahahah.... But I most probably will take it anyway. Its dangerous but its the urge. Ok then. I will write some more next time. ~peace~

Love Me, Don't Hate Me

2005-07-02T03:55:00.000+08:00

Yeah yeah... I have been working and working... My life is nothing but work... At last an off day... Haven't been resting. New career... Sacrifice alot..... Damn tired! Haiz... I don't know what to say already... Things have been crappy lately.... Headache... The parents.. The work.. And segala yang sewaktu dengannya.. Damn it man... Why ah? Why? What to do? I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do please. Please.... I'm begging. Freaking crap man... Hate this stupid feeling... Feeling useless and ugly.... Thanks to work... It takes up my time. All my time. No friends. No Farah. I miss him alot and I miss her alot. I realy miss him alot. Wonder if he is thinking of me. Hahaha... Haiz.... Ok lah... Nothing more to say... Hopefully.... Get to blog tomorrow. ~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-05-04T22:44:00.000+08:00

Wahahahaaha.... I am working!! Yes! I have been working for 2 days already... Tomorrow 3rd day. But honestly... It is so damn tiring. I didn't know hotel line is this tiring. You got to stand for the whole day. Attend to customer's needs and all... But although tiring, I am happy that I am working. I owe it all to my cousin.
Wake up... Prepare to go to work... Finish work... Then straight home... And sleep... And it goes on and on.... Same thing...
Got to go already. Working tomorrow morning.. Till next time... Oh ya... I miss my girlfriends ah... I really miss them like crazy... Hopefully ah one day we all hang out ah... Ok.... Good night! ~peace~

MY BIRTHDAY

2005-04-27T23:33:00.000+08:00

I change my title for the first time... I will never ever forget this day.... Well if you are guessing that it is a sweet memorable one than you people are totally wrong. It was a sad one. I will never for this year... Never... It didn't feel like my birthday at all. It hurts. It hurts too much. I had to cut the cake by myself alone in the kitchen. And nobody even want to eat it. It was only me. Then I hide myself in my room and then I poke 19 candles into this styrofoam board... And lit it up. Sang a birthday song for myself and then blew it all.... Well that is not all.. Things have been very bad lately and it happened on this stupid freaking day. Why? Bad luck since morning. Late for interview... Wasted my chance to get that job.. Lost my family and a few others... Bad luck since morning.. Can't concentrate... Really can't think straight... I need my strength... This is too depressing. Its ok.. Never mind... Im sorry... I am really sorry... I didn't mean to break both parties heart... I am so damn sorry... Forgive me please! Im begging you please... Don't treat me like a stranger please...
Haiya... Nothing else to say. Happy 19th Birthday Farah!
To everybody that actually remembered thanks guys... I appreciate it alot... Thanks for all your birthday wishes ya.... ~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-04-22T03:21:00.000+08:00

Hahaha... This one really perasaan ah... He thinks he is Rossi... Too bad he is not... Singapore Rossi....

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-04-22T03:18:00.000+08:00

Its me... I might be smiling... But I am not that happy. I am searching for a real smile.. Haiz...

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-04-22T03:16:00.000+08:00

They are not boyfriend and girlfriend. They are married for more than 6 years with 2 lovable kids... I really owe them a big thank you.

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-04-22T03:12:00.000+08:00

Hahaha... He is so funny... My first time to johor without my parents...

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-04-19T00:10:00.000+08:00

Hahaha!!! Damn it!!! 20 days already... No post... Haiz... I have been freaking stress... Damn terribly stress. For the first time in my entire life I feel so freaking terribly stress... Why eh? I know I am stress... Because the signs are there every single day!!! But... Life goes on and on and on and on.... HAHAHAA.... Ok. I have been busy... Not with work but finding one.... Again... Yeah I am finding a new job again... So far no luck... Rezeki not here yet.... I just have to wait and try my best... I have gone through alot of interviews but still no luck. Its ok... I trust my mum... "Slowly fine one Ana... Don't rush. Take your time." I hope so too... Insya Allah. All it takes is a chance. I know I can do whatever job they give me, provided I am train to do so. I am so damn sure I can do it. All it takes is a freaking chance. The chance is not here yet. Its ok... Patience.... Tomorrow another day with lots of interview.... Damn tired. But can't complain.
Hmm.... Miss floorball terribly. Really hope that we can go this week. Miss alot of people as well.... Too many too mention.
Nothing much to say about my daily life now. Its almost the same every single day.
BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just remember that my birthday is around the corner. Hhehehe... Actually I forgot. Totally forgot about it. I just happen to look at my organizer and there on the 27 column 'my birthday'. Hahaha... Wonder how this year's 27 is going to be like? Im 19... Shit man!! Getting old.
Alright people... Take care everyone!!! ~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-03-31T23:39:00.000+08:00

Why are you unneccessarily worrying?
Whom do you fear?
Who can kill you?
Soul is not born, nor does it die
What has happened has happened for the best
What is happening is happening for the best
Do you brood over the past?
Do not worry about the future
The present is on
What have you lost that you are weeping?
What have you brought that you have lost?
What have you made that has been destroyed?
You brought not anything
What you have, you got from here
What was given, was given here
What you took, you took from this universe
What you gave, you gave unto this universe
You have come empty handed and shall go empty handed
What is yours today was somebody else's in the past
And will be somebody else's in the future
You think it is yours and are deeply engrossed in it
This attachment is the cause of all your sorrow
CHANGE IS THE LAW OF LIFE

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-03-27T13:05:00.000+08:00

ALMOST HERE ~ Delta Goodrem & Brian McFadden

Did I hear you right
'cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind i'd left you
And when I hold you your almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you I'm close to tears
'cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-03-14T22:33:00.000+08:00

Yes!! Another entry! Haiz... Been busy... Working now. At the airport. So right now, I am busy with work. Soon enough... Shift work! Darn. It is going to be so freaking tiring. But... Six months contract only... So I will only have to suffer till august. Then... Fine another job. When will I ever settle down with a full time, permenant job? Arrggghh.... Its ok... It takes time... I have changed alot lately! I mean ALOT!! Been very patient. Been very naughty. Been very loving. Hahaha... I have been so freaking patient lately. I threw the hot-tempered Farah out the window. Hahahaha..... I might be busy with work. But, I am so enjoying myself. Been enjoying too much. But I am happy now.
Have been hanging out with the 2 idiots alot lately! Erma, the blur sotong. Masne, the chong. Hahahaha!! Love you guys to the core. Haven't been going for training already. Just because of 1 person! 1 of us cannot go, the rest don't want to go. Taik betul! I miss floorball!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Too many things had happened...... Too many!!! But they are all secrets. Deep secrets.... Only closed ones know. I can't even type it in my post. Its a huge secret!!! I mean secrets... With the s. Hehehhee.....
Never felt this way before... Why? Why? Why? Its like history repeating itself. Only better. I'm so scared. Well.. Just live your life as normal. One thing that I am so happy about. My mum. She is so much better now. Talk to her like normal, like before. I love my mum... And I really miss her alot. And of course I have been bad lately. Been lying alot. But it is all for a reason. I don't want her to worry, like before.
Well... Better sleep now. Working in the morning. To everybody... Take care and smile always. Oh ya... I havent been posting pictures. Maybe I should. Another day. ~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-02-25T01:56:00.000+08:00

DAMN IT!!!! It has been so freaking long since I post an entry... Been busy... But I have no damn idea what makes me busy... Really don't know... But I know one thing for sure that I have been busy looking for a FULL TIME JOB. Yes... A full time job... No more part time.... Got to work... And yes I have made up my mind not to go back to school. I have no idea why I lost total interest in study. Maybe later... I don't know. But I know one thing for sure.... I want to get married... Hahahaha!!!!! Maybe get engaged end of this year or end of next year.... Then ikat for a year (fastest) or two years (latest)... I think I am crazy.... Anybody who wants to marry me.... Please... Don't be shy... Please step forward... Hahahaha..... NO!!!! I AIN'T GETTING MARRIED!!!!! I AIN'T GETTING ENGAGED!!!! NONE!!!!! I SCREWED MY FREAKING LIFE!!! THAT IS THE REASON WHY I HAVE BEEN FEELING SO SHITY AND MOODY..... I was too stressed till my period came for the second time this month.... And I lost weight!!! DAMN IT!!!! Thanks mum..... I never wanted to blame my mum.... Never... She loves me too much... I can't blame or hurt her already... I have done enough damage to her.... But mum!! I don't love him mum..... Please stop crying.... You have been crying non-stop every single day.... You make me feel even more guilty each day as you weep.... The guilt gets to me untill I actually did something stupid to myself, for the first time throughout my entire 19 years of living...... I carved out a name on my arm with a penknife. A very important name.... Someone who is damn close to me.... I wasn't sure what I was doing then as I carved out the name. It hurts as I sliced the rusty penknife into my skin.. I wasn't crying but I was smiling and laughing as I carved. Enduring the pain..... Now I understand why some people love pleasure in pain. Or pain in pleasure... I 'm not sure... It helps to drain the guilt.... But not all...Well.... Right now... I just have to focus on one thing... That is to find a full time job. I have to... Ain't got no choice. No matter how long it takes I will keep on trying to find a job so as to keep myself busy. Enough screw ups already... Sorry mum.... No matter what, I will always love you... Forgive me and please stop crying... It really hurts me alot.Well... Till next time... Hopefully I get some time off to log in and post an entry. Take care everyone. ~Peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-02-01T01:23:00.000+08:00

Hmm... Where to start? Oh well... Alot of things happened... And it is not good things. It has been bad every single day. I really hope to fix things up with every single one... But I really don't know how? And I am scared. I don't care about anything else more except for friendship. And now I think I am going to lose quite a few. Oh darn.... Well.... I really don't know what to do?
Another thing is that... I AM FREAKING SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE PASSING MY NUMBER AROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Hi boleh kenal-kenal?" What the hell?!! You think I what??? Play toy ah??? Its ok to kenal ah... Widen your friendship circle... But if they have another intention.... Oh no.... Wrong person. Haiya.... Suka hati ah... I am freaking sleepy. So darn sleepy.
Talked to Taufik yesterday.... I am so glad he is ok. Tau.....fik................ I....... Love........... You............. Hahahahah!!! I kept on saying that to him but he said ok... I told him how could he have said ok only? Then he said... 'I can't Ana... The girl(girl who liked him) is beside me!' Hahaahaaha........ Poor Taufik... Pity you my friend! But then when the girl not at his side... He will reply A.....na........... I.......... Love.......... You.............. Hahaaahahaa.... I can't believe we are so close now. Best friends!! He is a special friend now..... Someone who is always there for me. A friend whom I can't live without. Shocking how he actually became my ex boyfriend and now best friends! Wkakaakakaa!!!! Love you Taufik!! Hope you are ok with that girl thingy....
Well yeah... Thats about it.... Too tired already... Have done enough screw ups and damage to my life.... Including drama.... Argghhh!!!! Aight... Thats all ~peace~

2005-01-28T14:02:00.000+08:00

Me and Wan... We took this in the theatre... It was a lot of fun!!!!!!!

2005-01-28T14:00:00.000+08:00

Hahahahaa!!! Luckily man!! I was lucky ah... Side view of me... Wan said I look like a crook going to send to jail.

2005-01-28T13:58:00.000+08:00

Hahahah!!! Again ah! Wan loves to take candid photos! So I cover myself with my scarf! Alot of people fall for his trick! For more information go press my link. Wan.... He has alot of candid pictures taken...

2005-01-28T13:57:00.000+08:00

Hahaha... This is not a shot which Wan planned. I managed to actually pose before Wan snapped! Hahahaha!!! Good agility! Too bad Wan you failed...

2005-01-28T13:54:00.000+08:00

I was getting ready for candid shots! So I covered myself with my scarf so that Wan can't take any ugly pictures of me! Hahahahaa..

HATE ME, DON'T LOVE ME

2005-01-28T01:03:00.000+08:00

What the hell are you trying to do?!!! Trying to test my patience or what???!!! Purposely make me angry so that you can see and know the angry side of me or what????!!!!! What the fucking shit thing are you trying to do!?? For the first time!!!! YOU MADE ME FEEL THIS WAY FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!! Thanks alot! Yeah fine.... It is my fucking fault! Because of me you are like that!!! So yeah it is my fucking fault!! I hate it when people hung up on me!! You didnt hung up you say???!!!!! What the hell......!!!! I even haven't say goodbye to you!!!! In the middle of talking!!!!!! In the middle of trying to solve the problem just for YOU!!!!!!!! Here I am trying to solve the fucking problem!!! And you end it like that ah!!! You think I am an idiot or what!!!! Your play toy ah!!!! EH PLEASE AH!!! Want to know me better right???!!! Look at my fucking side now!!! You have heard it!!! Well done!! I feel better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like killing someone! I know I can't kill you so might as well I kill myself!!! I can't breathe!!!! And you know why???!!!!!!!! When I am angry I can't breathe!!!! It feels like one crazy woman has entered my body..... And its not Farah Farhanah Vierra. I will start to breathe heavily... and would actually be gratefully if I can just punch the fucking wall!!!!!!!
STOP CALLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Trust me honey!!! It will make things better if you would just leave me alone right now! I am someone whom you can't talk to when at this stupid angry situation....... So leave me alone... Its better that way.... We can talk tomorrow when I have calmed myself down! Don't cry for me honey!!! Its not worth it!! Because I ain't crying for you no more.
You think tomorrow I would want to see you!!!???? Hahahaah!!!!! NO!!! Try finding for me at home. You won't get me! I will be out even sooner !!!! Helped from my mum???!!! You know she is the wrong person to asked help from!! You know it yourself!!!!
Well accept my anger my friend! That is the reason why I have alot of patience in myself. Because I am rarely like this. I hate to be like this. But you asked for it! Yeah fine! I am a fucking bitch! I admit! For doing this to you, I am a horrible person! I know! But I can't stop myself. You didn't expect me to be this way! I said stop calling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are pissng me off badly with these calls!!!!
Once again thank you for letting this side of me bloom once again! It feels good!!

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-26T01:37:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I miss my friends so much that I just don't know what to do. Of course the solution is to either call or meet up. But sometimes I am afraid to call or meet up. Simply because they are schooling... AND I AM NOT!!! freaking piece of shit! I regret being like this... I know there is no point at all regretting but I am admitting it. But I choose to be where I am now. And I am missing my friends like crazy! Especially my secondary school friends... Linda!!!! Argghh... I can never take her off my mine.... And of course my hockey friends.. Mai, Daya, Az and everybody! those were the days. And of course my friends!!! Masne, si gila! Erma, si bacin! Amilin, a sister to me! Fharhana, best friend lower secondary! Hahaha!!! And the others!! I don't have to mention.... You know who you are! There is so many of you guys! Oh ya! Not forgetting Asma'an! Hahahahaa!!! My one and only brother!!! Love you!! Well... I have not mention someone special... Hahaha... and her name is nurul... Yeah Nurul Hidayah Jumahat. The girl who sat next to me in class. The girl who would love me. The girl who would listen to my ups and downs. The girl who shared tears with me. The girl who shared the same face as me. And the girl who always stood up for me everytime. Yeah thats my friend! I am not sure under which catogery she falls under... But I would always say this. 'She is my twin'. And I am proud to say it. Hahahaha..... She is a friend that I will never forget! Hahaha!! Till today people still think that I am her! Odd... I really am still trying to find the similarities... Hahaha... But I just love the way we are! Most of the time I will flip through the pictures and all the memory comes back. It really feels real! Oh gosh how I miss you!!!!!
You send me a tag nurul! I really want to thank you for being a friend too! Love you always!!! And I really think you should eat more! You are so darn thin now! Hahahahaha!!! Love you Nurul! And love you friends!!! MUAKKKZZZZ!!!!!!!!!! ~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-18T15:10:00.000+08:00

Argghhh!!!!! I have itch all over me... I am scratching like a monkey! It was only on both my left and right upper and lower arm. But when I woke up today morning! AARRRHHHHGGGGGG!! It has spread to my back... This is so great... I cannot go out like this. People will see a monkey not a human walking down the street. I couldn't sleep yesterday. The itch was very bad... I kept on waking up ALOT OF TIMES! And not only that... To add more spice to the problem... I had freaking bad cough! Cough like nobody's business.... And my throat hurts to the core! I CANNOT SING!!!!!!! How the hell am I going to sing with this kind of throat? Aaarrggghhhhh!!! I did put this medicine on, on my entire arm.... It is so pinky... The colour stays on.... But I don't think it works... Because I need anti biotics to kill the freaking germs which will not leave my body alone!!! LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FREAKING GERMS!!!!! My mum told me to visit the freaking practitioner! NO WAY! I hate doctors... I only go visit them if it is really out of control.... Hopefully this stupid itch will go away soon.... Haiz... Had to stay at home... So lame!
Nothing else to say already.... Maybe I post another entry tomorrow... I have drama tomorrow! Hoorays!! To all humans, take care! ~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-16T02:00:00.000+08:00

WOW!!! At last... Its like been 3 or 4 days I have not post an entry. Oh my goodness! Hahaha... At last! It feels good to blog! Woohoo!!! Well... My pass days ok ah... Had fun... Worked just now. Can't wait for tomorrow... What alse!! FLOORBALL! Again after floorball, got to rush for drama.... I can't wait for floorball.... But I think tomorrow will be a hectic day... I have to get up at 10.30am... Get ready to go for jemputan kahwin... And then rush for floorball and then rush for drama... Actually I want to go for the singapore vs indonesia finals tomorrow... But I can't skip drama... I really really cannot skip drama.... Well... I love drama alot... Its a very big passion that grew deep within me. Hahaha...!!! Well, I am going to play pool of radiance now. Hahahaa... Hopefully I am able to post an entry tomorrow... ~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-12T01:40:00.000+08:00

UNFORGIVABLE SINNER~Lene Marlin

Kinda lose your sense of time
Cause the days don't matter no more
All the feelings that you hide
Gonna tear you up inside
You hope she knows you tried

Follows you around all day
And you wake up soaking wet
Cause between this world and eternity
There is a face you hope to see...

You know where you've sent her
You should know where you are
You're trying to ease off
But you know you won't get far
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
But you can't hear those words...
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
Unforgivable sinner

You've been walking around in tears
No answers are there to get
You won't never be the same
Someone cries and you're to blame
Struggling with a fight inside
Sorrow you'll defeat
The picture you see it won't disappear
Not unpleasant dreams
or your voice you hear

You know where you've sent her
You should know where you are
You're trying to ease off
But you know you won't get far
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
But you cant hear those words...
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
Unforgivable sinner

Maybe one time lost
But now you're found
Stand right up before
You hit the ground

Maybe one time lost
But now you're found
Stand right up before
You hit the ground
Hit the ground

You know where you've sent her
You should know where you are
You're trying to ease off
But you know you won't get far
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
But you can't hear those words...
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
Unforgivable sinner

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-12T01:14:00.000+08:00

Hello eveybody!!!! Hmm... What shall I talk about today? Well Wan, upon your request I have posted up the lyrics of the song. I have nothing much to say today..... The only thing is I have got to talk to Nisa before someone else does.... She is in freaking deep shit!! Things are getting out of hand... Once my uncle joins in.... DIE!! Things are going to get so much worse.... I pray and hope for my dear cousin.... Haiz... I have to work tomorrow.... Thank gosh its only till 5.... I think I should get a freaking permenant job... I miss someone...... I miss her like crazy... I miss Linda... I really need to see her.... She is like my twin.. Cannot be seperated... She is my angel.... Send to me... For every single purpose... Be it sad or happy times... Hope to see you soon Linda....
I am so pissed at the people..... This present has been delayed again and again... Just because there is a lot of problems with the pictures.... Arrgghhh.... I hope now its solved... I really need the present already.... Please Shirley!! No more delays please!! Aight people.... Till my next entry.... ~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-11T03:46:00.000+08:00

Yes ah!!! I have a media player in my blog... Hahahah... Wan was teaching me how to do it just now in the afternoon.... But when I tried cannot... Only the media player appeared but no music.... Hahahaa.... My brain only works superbly at this hour.... I tried to adjust the media player again... And both the music and the media player appeared!!! Thank you so much Wan!!!!! Aight...... Enjoy my song people!! ~peace~

2005-01-11T03:26:00.000+08:00

Hehehehe...... I want a prince to rescue me from my nightmare.... Hahaha....

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-10T15:17:00.000+08:00

Hahhahaha!!! Yes ah!!! At last.... I played floorball yesterday..... I didn't quite perform actually... I played badly but I really had freaking fun! So I don't crave for floorball now... Hahahah.... But still, I really wished there is floorball training everyday!!!! Can't wait for next week's training actually.... Before that I meet up with Wan for lunch.... Early lunch actually.... We both talked non-stop.... Hahaha... He's funny ah!! Then floorball all the way from 230 till 6.... I actually didn't want to leave... But I had to because I have drama!! I was actually rushing from Dover to Sembawang... Thank gosh I am 15 minutes late only... Haiz... Every sunday will be like this... Floorball then drama... Can't skip both... Important practice of my life!!
I am fucking depressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hhahahaaah........ Wakakakakaaka!!!!!!!!!!
Haiyah.... I should sit back and relax...... Whatever ah!
Anyway I miss Nisa!! And I really love my sister to the core!!!! Hehehe.... Who else?? Err.... Nobody.... Nobody special...... Hahaha... Till my next entry ah... I feel so awkward blogging in the afternoon... My brain is not working... It only works at night.... Aight people.... ~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-08T03:06:00.000+08:00

Work... That was what I did today... I worked from 12pm to 10pm... Pretty slack... I was half asleep... Thank gosh its over...
I am single.... Why am I single?... Because I hate commitments and I hate the title... Are you attached...? Yes I am? Hahahah... No way man... Never again... I wasted my freaking teenage life with boyfriends... And I am sick and tired of it... I need to enjoy my freaking life.... Which I am so, right now! I am enjoying my singlehood too much that I always have the feeling of never wanting to have a boyfriend... It feels good!! But!!! Of course, I do have feelings for guys... But to the extend of being a 'couple'... No way.... Nobody can force me anymore... I am so different right now! I am just so freaking happy that I am not attached.... Sometimes when I see couples hugging or whatever shit ah.... Hahahaa... I kind of felt disgusted... I cant believe that was how I was last time... I think there is something wrong with me.... Hahaahahahaa..... Haiyah..... I need to go and see a doctor... A heart doctor who can repair my brain and heart...
I am having drama tomorrow... Going to catch a movie before that... And then head for canberrra... I am so freaking tired... If I am not working I will be out... Haiyah.. I really need a rest at home.... Well I was supposed to hang out with ADLY.... But he has something on... So got to postpone... Aight... Till my next entry.... ~peace~

2005-01-07T04:08:00.000+08:00

See... Told you he loves the train... He cant leave the pole... Its like, they were meant for each other.... Hahahhaa.....

2005-01-07T04:02:00.000+08:00

Hahahah... I dont know what he is trying to do... He comes out with alot of crazy ideas... We rarely took decent photos... Its all crazy like him.... Hehehe....

2005-01-07T04:00:00.000+08:00

Make yourself at home... Hahaha!! He just loves the train ah..

2005-01-07T03:59:00.000+08:00

He was smoking! Look at his mouth closely.. You can see smoke... He is a smoke machine!! Loves smoking... He will die of lung cancer if he continues the bad habit! Hahahah... But he cuts down alot now.. Good boy!

2005-01-07T03:56:00.000+08:00

I had to tip-toe when taking this picture.. He is so tall...

2005-01-07T03:50:00.000+08:00

When we eat, he orders coffee. At McCafe, he orders coffee... At home, he also drinks coffee... Coffee man!!

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-07T02:47:00.000+08:00

I had fun today.... Watched Kung Fu hustle.... At lido... Hahahahaha... I give 10 stars ah... The show was freaking nice and funny... Didn't regret watching at all... Well in the freaking theatre... It was freaking cold... I had to go to the toilet in the middle of the show... After the show, we lepak and drink coffee at McCafe... I was sitting, looking around... When I saw someone from the other end looking and smiling widely at me... Like she knew me... I really don't know who?? I couldn't see... But then I noticed the entire group were looking at me... There were around 10 of them... I still don't know who these people are... But then I saw one of the guys..... His hair was freaking familiar!! I called Heed, the familiar guy.... And YES it was him sitting at the other end with the rest of the modern dancers!!!! Hahahaa... I went over of course... Shook hands and exchanged hugs and kisses... Julie, Ann were there too... The rest I dont know who at all! But then I saw someone... Someone so familiar but unknown.. He was fidgeting so much that I nearly laughed... It was Iwan.... Hhahahaa... Well we sort of had a bad ending before... But I did say hello though... The least he could do was smile back... He just waved with that look of his!!! What the freak is that!!! I was trying to be nice and you give me this kind of shit attitude and face ah!!! Next time if I were to see him outside ah.... Forget it ah... No hellos... Whatever ah... Spoiling my freaking mood!!! Aarrgghh.......
Well then... We took pictures.... Me and the birthday boy... Lots of pictures!! Hahahaha... Take a look above.... I had fun today.... Yeah yeah!!! Oh gosh I just remembered that I am working tomorrow... I mean today... It has passed midnight... Alamak so lazy... Haiz... Aight till my next entry.... ~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-06T18:17:00.000+08:00

Work suck to the core just now!!! It really is a freaking day at work... Thank gosh i dont have to work with that girl!! She got off at 4pm... But the thing is.... I still find it unfair... Why cant Meileng just let me off at 4 instead of her??!! Argghh.... I couldnt concentrate at work.... Haiz... Well... What else can i say... I just had a pathetic day at work... And im freaking tired... Didnt sleep at Nisa's house today... Because need to do something very important... Something happen at Nisa's place just now... And i feel freaking bad!!! I feel so bad... I think i just added more spark to the fire... Things are going to get worst.... Oh freak!! Well nothing much today... I think i should start writing short entries... People has been telling me that my entries are too long... Hahaaha.... Sorry... I am going to bed.... ~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-05T19:15:00.000+08:00

I am so sleepy... But i cannot sleep... I am feeling so guilty... So freaking guilty... Till i cannot sleep... I am so sorry i cant be there for your birthday... I know how much it means to you... BUT I AM SORRY SHAM!!!!!! Yeah... He is the birthday boy!! He is 19 already... But i am not going to be there on his birthday... We will have to hang out another day... Arggghhh!!! Why the hell do i have to work!!! That supervisor of mine, always plan stupid schedule!!! Ok fine!!! Its actually my freaking fault!! I mistook his birthday for thursday... I thought his birthday was THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Arrggghhh!!!!!! Its WEDNESDAY STUPID FOOL!!!!!!! Am i blind or what!! Cant i just look at the freaking calender properly!! I really have lagging memory!! Someone help me.... Haiya...What to do...?? Cannot do anything already... She wont let me off for half day... Darn was i stupid.... Well... Anyway... HAPPY BIRTHDAY EYSHAM!!! Dont smoke alot k.... Remember our deal!
I went to beach road just now... Accompanied Nisa to go bag hunting.... For her school... She wanted a bag like Fahmy's.... But when she tried it on... Total turn off man!! The bag is big... And she is small!! But the bag is nice... So she was torn between two bags... And i told her to get the sling bag instead... Because it suits her better... Just right!!! Hhahahaha... I am so freaking sure she will get all the attention.... Her bag is so porno... I cant describe... But its nice ah... At the same shop... I saw this blouse.... Heheheh... So i bought the blouse.... But its with Nisa because it was in her bag.... And i forgot to take it back.... Aiyoh... My memory really lagging.... And then met up with Faesal... We had grass jelly... Hahaha... Then we dashed off to Marche... We took a cab!! That Faesal ah!! Dont waste your money can! We dont have to take the cab... We can take the train... Suka le!!! He hailed a cab at the traffic light... So i couldnt scold him then... Quickly got in the cab... And then i punched his shoulder... That is for taking a cab... And waste money... I was freaking full after eating the spaggetthi (forgot spelling), potatoes, calamari and waffles ice cream... It was freaking nice man!!! The three of us were playing guessing game of how much the total price will be... I said it will be $100 plus... Nisa said $80 or $90... Faesal said it will be $70... And yeah... He was right... It was $60 plus... Then we went outside marche... And took pictures.. While on the way to the mrt station.... My supervisor called...
And she told me that she needs me to work... I was so pissed... So freaking pissed... But i couldnt scream at her.... Although i wanted to... Arghh... Its unfair... She asked another part timer to go off at 4pm.... And i had to stay till 10pm... This is so unfair.... I feel like taking mc... But she will know that i did it on purpose..... Alamak......!!!!!! I am so stuck.... I am feeling so guilty people!! I hate guilt man!!! I really hate this shity feeling..... Blame it on my freaking self.... Haiz...
Well Sham... Your gift will be ready in 4 days.... Sorry for the delay... Happy birthday again... Muakz!! Be happy!! I AM SO SORRY SHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well i had fun today... But it turn bad then.... Its ok... I will live with it.... Hahahhaa.... I realize something... My entries are all so long... Hahaha... Long winded man..... Well.. I can't help it... I need to play floorball.... I am so craving for floorball now... I really need to train and play floorball... Im tired... Till my next entry... ~peace~

2005-01-05T18:26:00.000+08:00

This is me and Faesal....He is also one crazy idiot!!hahaha....Faesal + Farah = Farihana... hahahaa....Thats our daughter!! Thanks for your treat Jal!

2005-01-05T18:23:00.001+08:00

hehee...Its me ah....

2005-01-05T18:23:00.000+08:00

There we are!! The two crazy cousins!! Well i enjoy hanging out with her...She is just super crazy!!! hahhahaaa....

2005-01-05T18:21:00.000+08:00

Oh goodness...She is so freaking thin...She is 1.6 m...But 39 kg!! I am 1.6m...But i am 45 kg!!! Put on some weight nisa!! But still no matter what she is still pretty...Oh ya...I ask her to day dream...Then i took the picture...

2005-01-05T18:19:00.000+08:00

Hehehe...This is my beloved cousin..Anisah... Pretty ah...I love this crazy idiot!!

2005-01-05T18:18:00.000+08:00

My cousin is so freaking thin!!! The person next to her must give her some weight..

2005-01-05T18:16:00.000+08:00

It was just the three of us, hanging out, having dinner together!! My hair messy ah!!! I am not sure why...Actually it has always been messy ah...

2005-01-05T18:13:00.000+08:00

Hahaha...Honestly...We were getting ready to post.....But....!! Someone.....Go and make joke... And it turn out like that!!

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-04T19:04:00.000+08:00

At last!! I have succeed to upload images to my blog...I was having problems at first...Don't know what freaking shit problem appear while trying to upload the pictures...But yeah!!! I DID IT!! Hehehe... Don't you think she is cute!! *reminder-don't bother asking for her number! She is my daughter! So go away... hahaha...Kidding ah!!
Anyway luckily I set the alarm in the morning...Since Sham cannot get up by himself!! Thank gosh I did manage to wake him up at 6 am although my head was spinning like a roller coaster.. And then... I suddenly woke up at 10 plus..to check on him whether he goes to school or not!! Luckily he did!!! hahaha...You know what... after checking on the lazy bum...i actually went back to sleep... And i woke up 3 pm...Wakakkaaka...Oh gosh...but my head hurts ah! like there is a rock in it!! After that....I cleaned up the house...I vacuum the house and stuff..."Ana help me to vacuum the house."my mum said..If she is going to shout at me...e.g "You dont know how to vacuum the house is it!! You think i maid ah!!" (if) my mum said. If she is going to ask me in that way!!! Get lost ah!! I will never vacuum the freaking house...For your information it has happened before...Can't mothers just ask nicely...if you nice to me...i nice to you...if you freaking not nice to me...i am so not nice to you...hehehe.....
Then i watched Puteri Gunung Ledang...Woohoo!! The story is so darn nice...Touching ah...Love story!!I think i should go to Mount Ledang to find peace..The scenery is so freaking nice!!!!! Haiz... I want to go there for my honeymoon...And stay there forever...hahaha... While watching...Nisa came...She wanted to borrow my bag...Actually she asked me to follow her to beach road just now to buy her school bag...But i told her that tomorrow is a better day...Then she said ok... So i am going out with nisa tomorrow...I hope faesal will not do overtime...So he can belanja us Mache tomorrow! He promised!! I am so looking forward to meet nisa...She is my cousin...We go through stupid stuff together! And i freaking love her alot!! That if any guy hurts her feelings...Arrgghh!!! hahaha!!!love you crazy nisa!!
Oh ya...And another miracle happened just now!! An called me!!!!! hehe. I missed him alot... He was in camp...serving the nation (wakaakkaa). I was shocked that he called...Instead of calling his mother he called me...He said he dreamt of me last night...that was the reason why he called..We didn't talk long....His superior told him to hang up!Hopefully i am able to meet up with him this weekend!!Love you an!! ~peace~

2005-01-04T19:00:00.000+08:00

hannah...so cute ah she!! like doll ah! she is the one that help me to create my blog! thanks hannah!

2005-01-04T18:58:00.000+08:00

This is hannah! I know she is cute! But don't think of asking for her number...You will have to go through her mother first...And the mother is me! She is my daughter!!

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-03T19:40:00.000+08:00

I am sleepy!! But I cannot sleep! Eysham Bin Ali!! One day I am so going to strangle you!! You know what people!! He cant get up by himself... He said that once he sleeps....die ah!!! Sure cannot get up!! Argghhh!!! Hahaha...Kidding only ah....
Anyway I didn't know that blogging is this tough... You got to download this and that...And soon enough my computer will crash! Thank you blogger!! But...since I started it...I should continue with it...
Today!....Hmm....What happen today?? Oh ya...I went to work... I was late for work! And i got my cheque!! Hoorays!! Hahahha...After work...I went home...and saw people (non family members)...Alamak!! I didnt even get the chance to change my clothes... and... " Ana...Help me do coffee please..", my mum said. So being the good girl that I am (hahahaaa) I did the drinks... Then i changed my clothes and I went out again...I had meeting...Drama production!! Woohoo!! I am so freaking excited about the production!! I seriously cannot wait... Although my role is makcik headquarters!! The title of the production is SONGSANG! haha... And to all my friends, please come and watch ok! I have not get the script yet..which I hope is going to be very soon.... And I need the script because got to memorise babes! I heard the lines so long!! Thank you eh ARAH(script writer)!!!!! Well.. Yeah.. Hopefully I dont screw things up again for the production like i used to..I hope and pray that my patience and interest in the production will stay till the last show we perform. I chat with Shihabur in msn just now...Whoa! It sure feels great to talk to him...It has been a freaking long time! But he was a little down...I felt for him! I really did! Poor thing! But he sounds slightly ok!
I have a very big wish!! And that wish is to actually have a freaking good memory...So that i will never forget the plans that I have every single day! Not only plans..Remember PROMISES! Arrgghh...My brain is so lagging like my computer! I need an organiser! But I already have 2... But I am too tired to write the schedule...Ok..maybe I am being lazy! Fine...ok..Fine!!!! From today onwards...I, Farah Farhanah Vierra, promise to write my entire schedule in my freaking organiser, so that I will not forget my schedule and my promises!
Signature,
Farah

Wakakaakakakkakakaa!!! Whatever...But I really think I should start writing it in my organiser..Eh...How to spell organiser ah? Organiser or organisor?? Help me out people! Aight!! Tomorrow another day...Eh ya! What to do tomorrow ah? Slack again! Oh ya...I have to watch Puteri Gunung Ledang!!
Oh ya!!! Wakakaakakka.. To all secondary and primary school kids! Happy schooling ah!!Hahahah....Please study hard people!~peace~

Love me, Don't hate me

2005-01-02T05:54:00.000+08:00

It's 2005!!!WOOHOO!!At last!!! Well...my celebration was pathetic...I had to go my uncle's place to do the freaking countdown.And the mothers were all playing bingo...I was freaking bored... So i joined them..Joining them was a stupid and bad idea! Out of all the rounds we played...not even once!! Not even once did i hit those freaking lines!! Argh!!!! There goes my money...Haiz...But its ok..Its 2005....A brand new year...I have one 2005 resolution! Hehehee... To wear more skirts! Wakakakaakakaa...No serious... I will train myself.... But maybe not...Im not sure... See how ah!! To every single human, be it dead or alive....HAPPY 2005 PEOPLE!!! Wish you all the best...
Hmm...now...I am not sure about myself...Maybe i should get my butt back to studies.. (not school)...But i am so not freaking ready...How ah??!! Alamak!!! I also dont know ah!! Or maybe i should work like nobody's business...AH...That is more like it...Hehehee...
Hannah!!!Thank you so much for helping me out with this blog...I dont know what i will do with out you!! Oh ya!!! I wont forget your chocolate and your coke! See you sunday babes... ~peace~

Love me, Dont hate me

2004-12-31T19:17:00.000+08:00

Testing .... hellO....